Photo: riebschlager

 

 I thought I’d never have to say my son is a picky eater. After all, food, in all its many splendored varieties, may just be my greatest pleasure. Planting it. Growing it. Picking it. Reading about it. Cooking it. Sharing it. And, especially, eating it. No surprise I fell hard for my husband since he (in his last life) was a professional cook.

 

Anyway, we were hell-bent on having a kid with a good palate. One who could go to any restaurant and eat off the menu (and not the kids’ menu!). One who could travel unencumbered by any special foods from home. One who proved, once and for all, that if we feed our kids a varied diet from the very first bite we’ll raise kids that will eat just about anything. Well, here’s a parenting tip: that’s not always true.

 

Let me amend that. It was true for the first 2 years of Atticus’s life. Spicy curries. Dark and bitter leafy greans. Fennel olive breads. I admit it. I was proud. Too proud, some might say. And then, one day, out of nowhere came the cry: I want plain! Plain pasta!  Plain chicken! Plain bread! Plain rice! I was ready to kill myself. Or him. What had gone wrong?

 

I did some digging and found out it’s not me. Some say it’s biology. Evolution, in fact. This New York Times article says that kids get picky starting around 2-years-old because taste buds “shut down” around the time toddlers start getting really independent– to prevent them from putting just anything (like bright and poisonous berries) in their mouths and eating it.  

 

I also learned from one of my favorite baby food resources, Wholesome Toddler Food,  that it’s also a natual developmental stage. An opportunity for kids to flex their independence and experiment with cause and effect. Like how funny it is when he says “yucky” and I roll my eyes and sigh. Or how cool it is that he can make me visibly frustrated just by saying “no thanks, mama.”

 

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad. But until this phase passes, what
is the parent of a picky toddler to do? Here are some of my favorite coping mechanisms:

 

Don’t make a big deal of it. Don’t get mad. Or angry. Or frustrated. And if you do, hide it. Hide it well. Because this can become a battle of wills. And no parent wins when they go up against a newly-power-hungry toddler. 

 

Don’t give in to it. I like to keep offering the foods they reject along with the foods they enjoy. You never know what they are going to decide they like when. This week they might love asparagus and next week they might hate it. So don’t limit them just becuase they are limiting themselves. You aren’t doing them any favors. It helps if you plan your meals to include some  some staples (like rice or pasta or chicken) that your kid will always eat.

 

Don’t offer them junk. Don’t feed them pizza every day thinking that getting them to eat something is better than them eating nothing. It’s not. It’s teaching them that if they put up enough of a fuss, they’ll get junk food. And that puts them in the driver seat. Exactly where you don’t want them to be.  

 

Don’t worry that they are going to starve. A healthy kid will naturally self regulate eating. And often, little eaters need much less food than you’d think. (See that Wholesome Toddler Food article again.) And if you make sure the foods you offer are nutritionally dense, you maximize what they do eat. Atticus, for example will still chow down on yogurt. So I mix up a sweet and nutritionally dense batch with whole milk yogurt, wheat germ, ground flax, avocado, and pureed squash. 

 

Don’t hide veggies. I don’t support, and neither do experts like Dr. Pliner in that same New York Times article, the strategy of hiding veggies in foods your kids like (ie, pureed butternut squash in macaroni and cheese)–because kids aren’t learning to appreciate the food in question. In the short run, you might get them to eat something nutritious. But in the long run, are you teaching them that veggies taste good? And laying a foundation for heathly eating habits for life?  

 

Try to anticipate some of their “issues.” So that mealtime doesn’t become wartime. I know a fight kills my appetite so why wouldn’t it kill his? For example, the whole phobia about foods touching (gasp!) other foods is a big one in our house. So when we plate our meals, we make a special plate (like this BPA-free and phthalate-free one from Skip Hop) for Atticus to ensure the foods he doesn’t like remain far from the foods he does.

 

Get them to help make the meal. This way, they feel like they have some control. Imagine you go to a restaurant and food just appears and you’re expected to eat. I’d be annoyed that I had no say. Now imagine mealtime from a kid’s perspective. If Atticus helps make the food, he’s usually curious enough to at least taste it. 

 

Reinvent foods to keep things interesting.  For example, Atticus wanted pancakes for breakfast last Sunday. I made his favorite: agave sweetened whole wheat silver dollar pancakes. And even after helping me make them (and covering the floor with flour), he suddenly decided he doesn’t like pancakes. Fine. I went back to the fridge, pulled out some cream cheese, mashed some banana into it, put the spread between two pancakes. Voila! A pancake sandwich! All gone in three bites and asking for more.
 
Repackage old foods and surprise them. A  fun new shape can make all the difference. Get some cool cookie cutters. In different shapes. This week he’s into dinosaurs? Think dinosaur quesadillas or dinosaur bruchetta. Next week he’s into space? Think starry crackers (try Stacie’s recipe from last week) or starry maple roasted tofu (see recipe below).
 
Remember you’re not alone. Every parent I know has had a picky phase with their kids (except for Stacie…  Had to amend this in light of Stacie’s post last Friday on Edamame Hummus. And yes, Stacie, I am laughing.) Most of them, if they approach it right, get through it just fine. And their kids eat all of those offensive foods today. I was still laughing when I learned that even the most famous chefs (like Tom Calicchio shared in last week’s New York Times) deal with this.

 

And, if you must, resort to minor deception. Sometimes, if we act over-the-top excited about how delicious the yucky food is (but not so over-the-top that Atticus gets suspicious), he’ll ask for a bite. And sometimes, just sometimes, he forgets it’s yucky and eats it all up. Yum!

 

Maple Almond Roasted Tofu Stars

(can be served to kids 12+ mos)

 

1 package (14 oz) organic extra firm tofu 

1 tbsp low-sodium organic soy sauce

1 slice organic whole wheat bread

1/2 cup organic raw almonds

1/4 cup organic wheat germ

2 tbsp organic spicy mustard

2 tbsp organic  maple syrup

1 tbsp organic whole milk yogurt

 

1. Preheat oven to 400F and lightly oil a baking sheet.

 

2. Slice the tofu into 1/2 inch slices and use your cookie cutter to cut out shapes. Dry lightly with paper towel. Keep the extra and cut into 1/2 cubes–the less picky people (like you) in your house can eat those.

 

3. Brush both sides of the tofu with the 1/2 tbsp of the soy sauce and set aside to marinate for at least 10 minutes while you prepare everything else.

 

4. Place the bread into the food processor or blender and pulse into fine crumbs. Transfer to a wide shallow bowl.

 

5. Put the almonds into food processor or blender and pulse into fine crumbs. Add to bread. 

 

6. Add wheat germ.

 

7. In another shallow bowl, combine the mustard, maple syrup, soy sauce, and yogurt.

 

8. Dip the tofu (one slice at a time) into the liquids to  lightly coat all sides. Then coat tofu with the bread crumbs, sprinkle crumbs over the top and sides, and lightly press them into the tofu. Now transfer to the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with all slices of tofu.

9. Bake for 20 minutes, or until bread crumbs are golden brown.

 

Tips: Serve with the sauce of your choice. I used a mustard-yogurt dipping sauce for Atticus’s and spicy Sriracha for Chris and me. And just so you know, Atticus ate every single bite.

 

Note:  Apologies for a photo of an ingredient and not a finished dish. I actually made tofu rockets last night– not tofu stars. Unfortunately, the tofu rockets looked a little…. How can I say this politely? Improper? For adults only? X-rated? So I opted for a stock photo instead. This is a family-friendly site, after all!